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Personal stories - Leigh
I was 34 and was given the news whilst in
Holloway Prison; at the time I was addicted to
heroin and inside for the third time on a drugrelated
crime. I was put into isolation – it was
strange, I was quite accepting about dying but
I didn’t want to die the way that I was living:
a junkie, a victim and in a prison cell. When
I was released I put myself on a methadone
prescription, didn’t get myself in any more
trouble, attended my hospital appointments and
got pretty angry and dismayed about the extent
of the prejudice I experienced around the illness.
Two years went by and I was still alive and I
made a decision to give up drugs completely,
so I went into rehab for nearly a year.
Once drug-free I had no idea what I was going
to do with my life but in 1991 I saw an advert
for a client service worker at PW and applied
– I got the job. PW had been going for a while
but had just got proper premises and was
in the midst of transforming from a support
group into a fully-fledged organisation.
Upon reflection, I really do think that the
next few years were an incredible period of
my life – the original founders of PW were
still working there and those women were
an inspiration to me. It was a great time
– helping set up the services that are now part
and parcel of the organisation, developing
the complementary therapies and the drugs
and prison work. I empowered myself whilst
working hard to empower others, and became
the Services Manager; a personal achievement
and so far removed from my previous lifestyle.
But it was also tinged with a lot of sadness, as
in those days there were no treatments and
very little hope (which was why PW was so
incredibly important). The deaths of friends,
colleagues and my boyfriend were relentless
and during the funeral of Jaynie, one of the
founders, I made a decision to leave and do
something creative in case it was me next!!
However, instead of being creative, I got
involved with ICW (International Community
of Women Living with HIV/AIDS) as a trustee
and volunteer for a further seven years, which
again was an empowering yet sometimes
fraught experience, but gave me the chance
to travel and meet and work with some
wonderful women all over the world. I also
came back to PW as a sessional worker.
With the advent of treatments and a future I
FINALLY let go of it all and immersed myself
in my first love – embroidery. I started a
course and just loved being creative again,
but three years ago I was diagnosed with the
most aggressive strain of breast cancer and
had a mastectomy. At the time it was felt that
due to HIV, chemotherapy may prove fatal so
I had a course of radiotherapy – my studies
were interrupted but I went back to them and
completed my course. I enrolled to take a
further course, started it and guess what? Last
year they found another lump; the cancer had
returned, and this time the doctors thought
that as I had survived 20 years with HIV, my best
option was to have a course of chemotherapy.
It was dreadful but I am through it now – still
alive, back at college and although I can’t wait
for my hair to grow back, am off to Thailand
this weekend with my lovely boyfriend for a
much needed holiday (life goes on).
During my chemotherapy, I felt so ill, but on
one of my rare trips out (besides hospital
appointments) I went to a ‘Pamper Yourself’
day at PW and it was probably the first time I
had ever attended anything there purely as a
client. I was struck by the fact that it is still a
special and much needed place.
If you would like to read more stories like this one you can subscribe to Positively Women magazine or click here for more stories online. |
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