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Frequently asked questions |
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Frequently asked questions
PW have compiled
a selection of some of the many questions that are asked regularly
on our helpline.
Many women want to know about PW's services. You can visit
our services section of this website to find this information.
These questions are specific to women living with HIV, but
please don't hesitate to ring us on our hepline if you have
any other queries.
Am I allowed to have sex?
We are both positive - why do I have to have
safe sex?
Do I have to disclose my status to my partner?
When should I disclose to my partner?
Should I just have relationships with positive
people?
Should I disclose to my family?
My treatments make me feel awful what should
I do?
Do I have to pay for my HIV treatment?
Will my contraceptive pill work if
I start treatment for HIV?
I want to have a baby but I am HIV positive?
Should I breast-feed my baby?
Am I allowed to have sex?
When diagnosed you may reject sex or worry about passing the
virus on. Some women experience an increase in their sexual
desire others feel 'dirty' having contracted a sexually transmitted
virus. All these reactions are normal.
Once you have come to terms with your diagnosis you will probably
want to have sex again!
If you are not yet ready to tell your partner about your status
you need to use of condoms or femidoms. This might be difficult,
as a lot of men (and women) are resistant to using condoms
- particularly in long relationships especially if they have
not previously been used, or for cultural and religious reasons.
Safer sex is essential to protect your partner, because you
cannot assume that your partner is positive just because you
are. It is important to practice safe sex for you as well.
Negotiating safer sex can be difficult for many women. If
you don't feel able to negotiate then it's a good idea to
seek personal advice on how to be assertive about this. If
you want to talk to one of our advisors you can.
Remember:
- HIV is not a barrier to relationships or sex
- HIV positive people need intimacy like everyone else
- HIV positive people have a right to have relationships
- Many positive people have relationships
- HIV positive people have feelings
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We are both positive
- why do I have to have safe sex?
Practising safe sex is important even if you are both positive.
There is a chance you or your partner (positive or not) could
transmit
- Hepatitis
- Other HIV strains, perhaps drug resistant strains
- Other sexually transmitted infections
It is recommended that condoms are used during vaginal, oral
(dental damns) and anal sex. You might want to use a female
condom.
I had unprotected sex 10 years ago I think I might be HIV positive?
If you have ever had, unprotected vaginal or anal sex, and you
are at all worried that you might be HIV positive, you should
have an HIV test. Having an HIV test is the only way you will
know if you are HIV positive.
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Do I have to disclose
my status to my partner?
Changes in the law are making it difficult for disclosure to
be solely a personal choice when it comes to disclosing to your
partner, our advice is:
- If you don't tell
- If you have unsafe sex
- If you infect someone
- If they decide to prosecute
You could be in difficulty but the situation could change in
the future.
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When should I disclose
to my partner?
When you have chosen to tell your partner, a whole set of issues
will arise. He or she may want to know why you didn't tell them
earlier - in which case you may need to explain that it was
important for you to become comfortable with your status and
be fully informed before talking to them. You may need to discuss
your partner taking an HIV test - something which they may be
resistant to doing.
When you start seeing a new partner, your HIV status will inevitably
be at the back of your mind. Do you tell them your status soon
after you have met? Do you tell them once it seems things are
becoming serious and moving to a sexual level? Or do you wait
until the relationship is blossoming and you feel that a serious
commitment may be on the horizon? Should you not tell them at
all?
Only you can decide the best time for disclosure in a relationship,
but it certainly helps if your new partner has got to know you
and understands you as an individual with your own qualities.
This should mean that when you tell them your status, they will
see you as more than a woman living with HIV. It also helps
that you are comfortable with your own status. Your attitude
when you tell them could influence their reaction.
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Should I just have relationships
with positive people?
Some people living with HIV believe that a partner with HIV
is the perfect solution. Relationships should be based on more
than a common HIV status, however - no relationship will ever
work when it is based on one shared interest or quality alone.
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Should I disclose to
my family?
When it comes to disclosing to your family you have to make
sure that you are ready for the reaction of your family members.
Some might reject you and some might give you the support you
need.
Sometimes it is better to first come to terms with your diagnosis
and gather information about HIV so that when you disclose to
your parents or children or friends you will be able to support
them and assure them that you will be alright. Again your attitude
when you tell them could also influence their reaction.
If you want support with disclosing to your children PW can
support you around this issue. We will also give continued support
to your child after the disclosure whether you are telling your
child you are positive or telling them they are positive or
both.
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My treatments make me
feel awful what should I do?
If you are on treatment regimen that find impossible to adhere
to don't be afraid to tell your doctor. You should not have
to completely change your lifestyle in order to take your medication.
If you want to speak to our treatment advisor then you can call
for an appointment.
Some treatments have side effects. This can vary from individual
to individual. You may need to make some small changes to manage
the side-effects, but if they become a real problem, speak to
your doctor about whether the regimen can be changed to suit
you.
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Do I have to pay for
my HIV treatment?
Whether or not you will have to pay for your treatment will
depend on where you live and who it is prescribed by. Treatment
through genitourinary clinics is currently free and patients
on benefits are entitled to free prescriptions from their GP
or GUM clinic.
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Will my contraceptive pill work if
I start treatment for HIV?
If you are on the pill (female contraceptive pill) you need
to tell your doctor. Some pills are not effective in combination
with HIV treatments. Other things such as diarrhoea or taking
anti-biotics may also affect the pill. Always consult your doctor
if in any doubt.
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I want to have a baby
but I am HIV positive?
HIV positive women can and do have children. Being HIV positive
does not mean you lose your maternal instincts.
Our advice would be to discuss getting pregnant with your doctor.
We can provide emotional support if you want to discuss your
options with another woman living with HIV.
If you are on treatment, it is important to discuss with your
doctor the treatment options during pregnancy. Some treatments
should not be taken during pregnancy. Always consult your doctor
if in any doubt.
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Should I breast-feed
my baby?
Most doctors recommend HIV positive mothers do not breast-feed.
This is because breast milk carries the HIV virus and you risk
infecting you baby with HIV. There is a lot of pressure to breast
feed in some countries but it is not worth risking infecting
your baby. Always consult your doctor if in any doubt.
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If you have other questions relating to your HIV status then
you can call one of our advisors on 020 7713 0222. |
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Address: 347-349 City Road, London EC1V 1LR, Tel: 020 7713 0444, Email:
A company limited by guarantee, registered in England, no. 2424032; Registered charity no. 1007685 |
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